the best is yet to come

as i get ready to crawl in bed after a long day....i think.
i miss what was. all of it. more so than i ever expected. i miss the big things i knew i would miss and the stupid little things i really didn't expect to care about.
i miss playing hide and go seek with my dad, building "forts" in the living room, and sleeping in my parents floor just to be close to them for the night. i never really thought i would, i mean come on - i'm 30 minutes away...but i miss my parents. i see them often, but its different. i miss sitting on my mom's bed and telling her about my day. i miss kissing my dad on the cheek and do the usual, "good night. i love you. sweet dreams."
now it's a text message or a 5 minute phone call.
not the same.
i miss all those long, seemingly pointless hours spent at PVCS. i miss the friends, MY corner stall in the bathroom, the feeling when walking down the hall of knowing everyone i passed, and really just the comfort of it all. i expected to miss my friends, but not the rest of that place. now it's college. now its the big time. now i have to study WAY before the day of a test if i wanna pass, i have to actually go to class to pass, and at the end of a semester STILL don't know most of the people i see in a day's time. i miss the familiarity of it all.
there are so many things i could sit here and add to my list of "things i miss"...but there are so many new things to add to my list of "things i love". with everything i have lost or that has changed, i have gained more. my future is FINALLY starting to become my present. slowly but surely.
days when i miss what was...i tell myself to look at what will be. how exciting!!!! what will i do? who will i become? who will be in my life, and who won't be? what is He going to use me for?
so maybe i need to just snap out of it. stop dwellin on what is lost and different and look forward to what is it come. i'm so excited.
i can't wait!!
<3