what's the point?

i will willingly admit that i ask WAY too many questions.
i wonder, ponder, dwell, nit pick, worry, and think. i do it all. but as i do all of that, i ask.
i ask the basic : who, what, where, when, how....but if you know me at all you know my favorite...
WHY?!?!?
i ask why to everything.
being here, at trevecca has given me a whole new selection of things to ask "why" about.
like...
why is freshman curfew 12 am?
why do the beds have to be so small?
why is the laundry all the way in the basement?
why is the pizza so greasy?
why does her hair look like that?
why does he have that thing hanging out of his nose?
why does she get paid to feed squirrels?
why does he eat in the same seat, at the same table, at the same time everyday?
...you get the idea.
i've had some of these answered, and added a couple hundred more to the list.
but sometimes i ask why about more important, impactful things...
why do we stand when we sing?
why do we go to the alter to do anything of significance in a church?
why do we do communion in some churches once a month and in others every sunday?
why do we have so many rules, rituals, and and lines to stay in?
that last one has been really drivin me crazy over the last few days.
rituals.
my point is this....they are all explained away by "these are just ways we symbolize things."
is it though? when does it go from "symbolizing things" on the inside to just becoming a show for everyone on the outside?
my big thing always has been the "heart issue." everything to me is a heart issue.
and i just wonder...
why do people do these things? where is their heart? where is mine??
so i really can't do or say much for everyone else...i'm just concerned.
i know that alot of times my heart isn't in the right place. i do things because i know people are watching. that is NOT ok. it's doing me no good unless my heart is right.
i'm gonna work on that. really. i want to be better about it.
i want it be true "'what you see is what you get".
through and through.
all the time.