la, la, la, it's whatever.

[it's been so long since i posted something that i forgot my password. 

both the lack of posting and the forgotten password are unacceptable. both have been fixed. moving on.]

i've recently been in somewhat of a frantic, bible study beastmode.
my main topic of focus: temptation.
and today while i was reading [in my "way too early in the morning to do any good" math class],
i found something.
something so insignificant and so woah, huge at the same time.
something i have literally read 20 times, and something i've never noticed before.
i had been begging God for a good 30 minutes before i started reading to just

"show me something. anything. just speak to me. grow me and let me actually see it happening."

and....he smacked me in the face with this.

Matthew 4:1-2

 ¹ Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. ² And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.

Jesus was tempted. (don't worry, i've known that for a while, that's not what i'm dwelling on here)
but he wasn't just attacked with temptation that no one saw coming, nor was it coincidence.
"then Jesus was LED UP BY THE SPIRIT....to be tempted"
woah.
we, as modern day Christians, have somehow convinced ourselves that being tempted is the worst possible thing. that temptation should be avoided...at ALL costs. that if your being tempted, something is wrong with you, you aren't a good Christian, or you are, just in general, a terrible person.
we are so very wrong.
Jesus was tempted. Jesus was LED by the HOLY SPIRIT to be tempted.
i'm just sayin, if being tempted were a bad thing, i'm pretty sure the Holy Spirit wouldn't be doing the leading.
so, i say temptation is good. 
why?
because sometimes it's where the Holy Spirit leads you. sometimes you need to be there for things to happen. sometimes it's personal growth, sometimes it's for someone else. but whatever the case, i consider temptation Kingdom Work.
Jesus was tempted to show who He was. to show His power. to show that He really is sovereign and He really can rescue sinners from the darkness ruled by Satan. 
we're tempted to help show the same thing.

now, before you start getting in your car to come throw stones...(there's really no need for that. just take me to lunch instead.)
i am not saying falling into temptation is a good thing. just being tempted.

so then, as i thought of this [still in my terrible math class], i kind of got a little irritated.
it went something like this:

"God, you know some people are weak! some people can't handle certain things! tempting them in that area is just uncool!"

...then he smacked me in the face again.
with verse 2.

"and when He had fasted for forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry."

this is Jesus' human side showing just a little. when i have fasted for ONE day, i'm ready to hurt a small child for some food.
forty days and forty nights.
40!

"...afterward He was hungry."

and what was the first temptation He faced?
bread.
and did He cave? no.
yea. sure we're tempted with things that are REAAAAALLLLY hard to say no to.
so what? so was He.
saying no to the temptation is proof of growth. it's proof of faith. it's proof of wisdom.
it's less of me and more of Him.
it's my job.

so next time your tempted, thank Him. thank Him for the chance at being a part of Kingdom Work. thank Him for giving you a chance at growth.
don't run from a chance like that. see it for what it is, stand strong in Him, and do your job.

they're all precious in His sight

[just real quick, let me freak out for a second.]

i'm working a summer camp this summer.
a summer camp.
you know, a bunch of kids running around like banshees, hot summer days, swimming in a lake, living in a cabin all summer, working with strangers....summer camp.
this probably doesn't seem like a big deal to most, but the thing is...
i've NEVER done camp.
never worked it, never been to one, never even seen a real "summer camp".
i'm not the "camp" type. this is a known fact.

what have i gotten myself into?!?

really i'm just doing it for the kids. i want to make an impact. i always have. and i think this might actually finally be chance to do it. i am in the position to greatly impact a child's life for the Lord.
what better way to spend my summer?!
so yea... i might be WAY out of my comfort zone here and yea...i'm totally freaking out.
but outside my comfort zone is where God works the best.
so hey,
bring it on summer camp.

i'm taken with a notion.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

my love handles, pudgy belly, 

weird nose, and big bug eyes are 

fearfully and wonderfully made.

my loud laugh, my country accent,

 my need to be with people at the weirdest of times,

 and my weird fears, dreams and goals are 

all part of who i am. 

who i am is fearfully and wonderfully made.

so, please - next time you start to think anything other than "she is fearfully and wonderfully made"...check yourself. and next time you hear me say anything different, slap me.

you are beautiful in every single way.

warm whispers.

some numbers to crunch.

26,000
twenty. six. thousand.
26,000 children a day.

that's how children die EVERY DAY from starvation or preventable disease.

26,000 a day.
183 an hour.
3 a minute.

dying.
children being taken away from their parents.
friends losing friends.
lives ending.

and what are we doing about it?
we're sitting at restaurants complaining that we haven't gotten our huge meals fast enough.
we're spending all of our money on clothes, shoes, movies, and music.
spending money on ourselves.
how. freakin'. selfish.
oh wait... what's new?

26,000.
26,000 a day.

go big or go home.

i can do this.
it may very well be all on my own.

but i can do it.
and i will.

so there.