5.31.2010

when i grow up

it's official.
i can't make a decision and stick to it to save my life.
i am a sophomore in college and have changed my major so many times my head is spinning.




sports medicine.
youth ministry. 
nursing.
mass communications.
radio.
mass communications.
television.
nursing.
early childhood education.

so really...
what do i wanna be when i grow up??
sigh.
i have no idea.
can i just stick to the original plan?
being a princess doesn't sound so bad.

5.27.2010

someday...


i will wear this dress.
i will look great.
my husband-to-be will cry.
we will promise ourselves to one another for the rest of our given days.
he will look at me with that "sparkle" in his eye.
i won't stop smiling.
i will know i have found the man i will spend my life with.
it will be the best day of my life.

5.24.2010

5.23.2010

this time last year,

i had just graduated high school.


even as i type that, i am completely overwhelmed by the thought.
woah.
this year has been....wow.
it's been great. it's been awful. it's been fun. it's been scary. it's been eventful. it's been boring. it's been happy. it's been sad. it's been...it's been so short!
seriously though, where did all of my time go?!?!
i spend alot of time having "heart to hearts" with my friend, Colton.

our last one was about this very subject.
we listed our greatest memories and our biggest regrets.
boy...did i have a lot... of both!
and see, here's the thing.
that's. life.
and it's my life.
and i love it.
so yea, it's been a year. oh boy, what a year it has been.
but it's been just another year of this beautiful life i live.
the good. the bad. and the ugly.

so hey, year to come.
i'm so excited to see what you are bringing me.
let's get this show on the road.

shall we?

5.21.2010

yes, i'm savin' all my love for you.



love.


it's kinda what our world revolves around.
i searched for the word love on...
itunes - over 1,000 songs.
google - over 1,410,000,000 results.
surfthechannel - over 5,826 movies.

you get the idea. we're all crazy about love.
but why? what is it? why do we want it? need it? long for it? let it consume our every thought and action?
your guess is as good as mine.

i guess, love is a lot. it's so much more than those butterflies you get when that special someone looks your way. it's more than wanting to spend every waking moment by their side. it's more than the thoughts of that person filling your head from the time you wake until the time you finally fall asleep each night.
it's all of that... and so much more.

love is a choice. there are days when it isn't easy for me to love anyone. at all. but whether it be a friend, a family member, or a significant other, loving that person is a choice. i used to think of love as some dark abyss that people just kind of "fell in to". but what's so great about someone accidentally falling into a big hole?
nothing.
it's so much more meaningful and precious to think that someone wakes up every morning and decides to love you. not caring about your bad mood, your successions and failures, your good and bad hair days, or your bad habits.
they just wake up and decide to love you, for you. everyday.

love is a future. there are so many movies based on the simple concept - two people meet. they "fall in love" (i've already covered that, let's not dwell). they decide to get married. this is always followed by one of the two confidently saying to a third party...
" i can see spending the rest of my life with them."
oh is that right? love is saying that, and meaning it.
love is looking past the fairytale life you have built for the two of you in your head and seeing if it's really possible. love is knowing there will be bills, pets, kids, more bills, fights, more kids, messes, disasters, in laws,  bigger fights, snoring, annoying habits, even bigger fights, more messes, and old age (which brings a whole other list along with it).
yes, love is all the good you see. all the happy, lovey- dovey moments.
but love is also seeing all of that in your future.
with them right beside you the whole way.
and still seeing yourself happy.

love is more. yes, love is great. love is all that it's made up to be. anyone in their right mind would want love. but it is so much more than the movies and songs play it up to be.
love is finding that person to be there through the good, bad, and ugly.
and not wanting anyone else in their place.
love is looking into their eyes and knowing you're safe.
there. with them. forever.


love is trust.
love is patience.
love is acceptance.
love is comfort.
love is growth.
love is joy.
love. is. more.

no. i don't think i have it all figured out.
trust me. i know i don't.
but with a divorce rate of 41% for first marriages, we're obviously missing something.
i just think it's so much more than we make it out to be.
it means more. it's worth more. it's worth more effort. it's to be cherished more.


love is so much more.

5.18.2010

what a view.

i'm so proud of you.
you are growing and maturing so much as a person and in the Lord.
you are becoming more.
it is so great to see.

i know it's tough.
i know things get really hard sometimes.
i know there are things and situations you would like to change.
but don't.
they are molding and shaping you.
and from this angle ... trust me.
the results are so amazing.

love you boo boo.
<3

5.17.2010

wake up call.

hey jamie.
stop looking back at how great things were.
stop trying to get them back.
just give it up.

there are great things coming.
better than you can ever imagine.
you are limiting yourself with menial...old...unchanging desires.

move on.
change.
look forward to what's to come and where you're going...
because this looking back is only gonna keep hurting.

5.04.2010

there are no words.



God himself will be with them; he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." And he who sat upon the throne said, "Behold I make all things new."